6 Months in Devon (probably close to the name of a porno somewhere)

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If there’s a clear example of my situation in Devon it’s that I have only written two blogs this year – including this one. Based on comprehensive studies on ants and prisoners we can successfully conclude that this is due to me being either really busy or really lazy. Shockingly both of these studies have been made up but I can assure you that there’s probably some reason for my text based tardiness.

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Please don’t judge me for the preamble-ramble. In many ways it’s necessary to release the words like this when they have been backed up for so long – a bit like that rush of a fart that foreshadows the toilet based carnage of a really backed up shit. You know I’m right you filthy fuck.

We’ve lost two paragraphs already and you’re probably wanting the money shot. I’ll highlight the following bits in BOLD so that your tired eyes can skip to the best bit. DEVON IS BEAUTIFUL AND LUCY AND I ARE MOSTLY DOING FINE. I’ve started my FOURTH JOB in a year (previous record 2 jobs in an eight year period) and I’ve survived the horrors of winter and the wettest spring in over a decade. WE MISS OUR OLD FRIENDS but we have met a few lovely peeps down here.

I’m now going to talk about Phoebe. She is someone you might well know from Portsmouth and she fucked off to Nottingham BY HERSELF and has survived and met people and been super brave. Basically if you’re worried about how we’re coping then trust me when I say that we’ve got it bloody easy compared to our old chum who is bossing it up north. Kudos chum.

So yeah – Phoebe’s overshadowed us completely and I no longer need to talk about how we’re coping. I’ll state some facts though: My new job is two days old and I hope will be a satisfying place to work. I’ve found a couple of badass nerd bunkers full of gaming tables and also hung out with humans both online and in real life. Exeter is prettier than Portsmouth and the beach in Dawlish is sublime. There’s a shop called Gay’s Creamery for gods sake – what more do you want?

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Things have, on occasion, been hard. It’s quite draining leaving everyone you know and love to move to a rental place with all the worries that come with new jobs, a mental dog and all that jazz. But guess what guys – you can do it! The only thing holding you back is (A VAST JUSTIFIABLE LIST OF REASONS THAT ARE COMPLETELY FAIR).

I hope you are okay with this update. It was, as always, written for me to look back on a cry over when I’m 40 and still trying to figure out what I’m doing with my life. Also, a quick google search reveals that there is a pornographic film actress called Devon Lee. I’m not sure if anyone spent 6 months in her but I’m sure over the course of her career various people have.

All the best.

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One Comment Add yours

  1. I’m crying real tears of sadness and laughing real laughs of laughing-ness.

    Looking forward to the next instalment!

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