… is not the right word to use to describe the start of my blogging adventures. Continuing would be more apt as there have been previous iterations of this blog on other social media sites. Unfortunately, being a relatively normal person I am my own worst critic – meaning that I thought that most of my early blogging is a big pile of wank. I hope that conjures up the correct visual metaphor for you. Still not there yet? OK then, imagine a thousand men ejaculating on a spot on the floor. Sweat and all. There you go.
Having now successfully put off the narrow minded people who cannot tolerate the brutal realities of life I will continue. Why on earth should I write I blog? There are literally thousands (I counted) of wrtiers hammering away at keyboards. Some lucky devils even get paid for the privilege (which is ironic as some editors re-write their entire article for them). What makes me different then? What gives me the right to write (genius I know)?
My answer is that I though of a really novel way of getting myself noticed. This is the 21st century kids! We can all be pop-stars and save the world by drinking water that helps Africa! Me, I want to write a cool blog man! How am I going to do it? Well, instead of looking or acting like a Grade A tosser what I would instead do is spent my time writing honestly. Cut out the bullshit and focus on the fact that as a human being I am entitled to my opinion and I should be allowed to say what I want. Also I don’t feel mentally stable unless I can put fingers to keyboard and type.
This vague mission statement means that this will be a vague blog. It will ramble and go on tangents and people may wonder what the point of it all is. But then I think I just described modern life perfectly in that sentence which basically makes this blog a quality reflection of reality.
There is one compromise that I will make and that is to make my work relatively entertaining. Not for you, but for me. I am the poor bastard who is sat writing this so I might as well enjoy it. There’s a reason why the construction industry is failing in the UK; no one wants to work on something they can’t enjoy themselves (it’s the truth – I saw builders sat outside a Wimpy development crying about how much they’ll miss 33 Flood Plain Drive).
This blog is for me but you’re welcome to read it too, you voyeuristic word perv.